It’s now Sunday and I’m just now getting to my Thoughtful Thursday, because to be honest I was having a hard time figuring out what to write about. So, I took to my sketch book to draw a picture, first in hopes that would spark my mind, and help me figuring out exactly what I wanted to write about. Which did help a ton, and made me change my original idea.
After looking at the picture I created and looking at the expression on the mother’s face it all clicked. Being a stay at home mom is hard, despite what society thinks it hard, there are no breaks, or raises, and what we do all day is always questioned. Society has this specific idea as to what a stay at home mom is. To society we wear yoga pants/ legging, dirty tee-shirts and messy buns, we spend out time waiting to open a bottle of wine because our life is so hard, and we love Target.
I have always found it hard to fit into the stay at home mom status quo. To me Yoga pants are for yoga, running or sleeping in, I love leggings but always with a shirt long enough to cover my butt. For the most part I don’t wear tee shirts I don’t like them I don’t find the flattering or comfortable. The only time you will find a messy bun in my hair is when I’m sleeping, or to under a bathing cap when I’m swimming laps. As for wine, I don’t drink it, I don’t even really like it, but the fact that we as stay at home moms share memes that say things like ” It’s wine o’clock” or “it’s a two bottle of wine night.” I actually find this post kind of scary because it makes us look like alcoholics. As for Target I love target as much as next person. The thing with these stereotypes is that we created them and we wear them like they are badges of honor.
My question is why? Why do we let these stereo types continue? When did we as stay at home mom decide we weren’t going to try? That the mundane tasks of everyday mean we don’t have to dress or look presentable to society. It’s like we decided because society thinks less of us because we choose to give up careers, to care for our children we don’t have to try. Did we ever think maybe if we presented ourselves as put together, and in control of our lives instead of hot messes, we would get the rbuespect that we deserve.
If a business woman showed up at the office like most stay at home moms dress on a daily basis she would never get respected. Yet we go out into the world looking like we don’t care about ourselves, and then wonder why we don’t get respect. Despite what society thinks, being a ystay at home mom is work. And we should look at it that way. We should dress like we care. I hate this idea that because I’m a stay at home mom I have to look like a hot mess. Why stay at home mom’s find memes like that so funny.
Motherhood shouldn’t be about walking around it dirty clothes, and joking about not showering in days. I can see wearing comfortable clothes especially if you have small children, but why does it have to be yoga pants? The mom in my picture looks like she could still have fun with her kids, maybe ballet flats would be better than heels but still, she looks comfortable and put together, Yes she has a bun but its a neat business woman style bun.
Look at a 1950s housewife, despite the fact that feminist have made them look like the epitome of an oppressed woman they really weren’t. If you do you research you will find in lots of cases those women ran there households. There is a perfect seen in Madmen were Betty is writing out checks and signing Don’s name but she is still paying the bills. Don even says it several times when he is trying to figure out new ad pitches what is going to appeal to the wives. The 50s housewife as become mocked for her prefect hair, dresses and even pearls, that she was forced to look way because of society, but why was it so bad?
Why do we continue to mock this woman who took pride in what she did, who knew how important she was to society. She took pride in how she looked, mock this woman while we sit around in our dirty clothes, with dirty hair and think its okay. This woman was respected, don’t we regularly complain that as stay at home moms we aren’t respected. Maybe instead of mocking this woman we should learn from her and learn to take pride in what we do, and how we looked.
Stop thinking of being a stay at home mom as being a fall back, because of how expensive is, and start thinking of it as a career. Get up and really get dressed, do your hair and your make up. Instead of complaining about your messy house and how your kids toys are all over the place do something about, make you house look like a guest could stop by unexpectedly. We shouldn’t be embarrassed of how our houses look and make excuses for it.
Stop complaining and continuing these stereotypes, and do something about it. Take pride in what you do, take pride in your house, and children. Stop going though life with a distant look on your face, be in it and be present, no matter how mundane being a stay at home mom can be. Take pride and be proud.