I know I never posted a family Friday but Bald Man and I had quite the fight this weekend and I didn’t want to let that influence my post about him. I figured since It’s Mental Health Monday this would be a good day for a check in.
This past week wasn’t a great week, I got behind in chores, blog post and planning every thing. I know that depression is an ongoing battle, and sometimes it takes me a little bit to get back into the swing of things.
I’m sure that getting back from camping, and then having to start getting up early and being on my period were the big factors. I have depression, anxiety and PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder). So leading up to my period, and until about half way through my period, is a real treat. I literal have no drive motivation to do anything, the anti-depressants help but it’s still an up hill battle.
I find that the week of my period, tend to get very irritable, (who doesn’t really but its worst for me) every thing annoys me. I get short with Miss Determination, Mr. Fearless and Bald Man. I don’t mean to but everything annoys me, and try as I might I just can’t seem to move past it. Nothing seems to go right and everything just seems like to much. I feel like I’m in over my head.
Even now, at about 5 days after the end of my period, I’m still being very short with everyone. I know it’s happening but I just can’t see to not do it. I am trying to be better at listen to myself but I’m still struggling. It’s better I calm down 10x faster than I used to, and I try to stay calm more.
I have learned that if I’m staying physically active the blow ups aren’t as bad as they once were. I actually made it 2 months with out and epic blow up, which I know doesn’t sound like a long time but before I got help, it was at least a weekly occurrence. So I am showing improvement, It’s just hard because I want it to be better, I don’t like fighting and getting anger. I try very hard not the take the bait, when Bald Man is baiting me for a fight. I don’t always take the bait now, so it is getting better.
I have been trying to work more on mediating, trying to remember that before I react I need to take a deep breath and think before acting. My goal for this week is to mediate every night before bed. I need to get rid of the negative emotions, and stress I’m currently holding in. So this week is going to be a STOP, BREATHE and RECENTER week.