Never Forget

In the 17 years since September 11, 2001 I have never reflected on it, I have never shared my memories of that day, I treated it like any other day.  I’m not sure why I treated it like any other day, maybe because it was easier to think about it that way then to remember the kind of day it really was.

I can remember it clearly, I can remember where I was and what I was doing, I remember my thought process.  I was in 6th grade in my classroom, and I remember seeing the first tower smoking and I remember seeing the plane hit the second tower before my teacher turned off the TV.  It was completely normal for my teacher to have the news on in the morning, in fact it was the norm.

The first plane must have hit the tower right before I got into the classroom, because I remember thinking that they were talking about a movie, or some place else.  Yes I grew up less than 2 hours away from New York City, but I wasn’t very familiar with NYC.  So I just figured it was news from  some place else, I don’t think I was truly comprehending what I saw.  I remember everybody talking about it and telling us we needed to talk to our parents about it when we got home, but I didn’t get it.

I was almost 12 and I didn’t understand,  I remember my mom and older  sister coming home from work and waiting to watch it.  It was the first time I ever felt unsafe, and insecure.  Yes, I had learned about the World Wars, Vietnam, and JFK’s assassination, but those were history, they were before I was even born.  I thought we lived in a world that was past war, and violence, I might have been naive but honestly it never really occurred to me that living in danger of war could happen to me.  I thought the world was a good and peaceful place ( I know crazy).Yes, Desert Storm and the Oklahoma city bombing happened in my life time, but I was so young I had no knowledge of them, at least not until I learned about them in school.

It’s hard to believe it’s been 17 years, and yet it isn’t.  I feel like in the last 17 years the world has changed so much, it seems so much more violent.  Maybe it’s always been violent and I see it more now.  Or maybe the fact that 9/11 happened has changed the way we all look at the world. Sure there was the warm fuzzy feeling after the fact but that faded.  Now it seems like we are all only looking out for ourselves and no one else.  I’m going to leave it at that because this isn’t a political blog, in fact I really hate politics.

This is however a blog of motherhood, and because of that I will say this I worry about the world my children are growing up in. I feel like children grow up to fast now, I remember not knowing understanding what kids were talking about when they were talking about blow jobs, and I was in 8th grade. Now I listen to 14 year old take about sex like its no be deal, and I’m amazed. I’m getting off topic now, so I think it’s time to wrap it up.

I know that some day my children come home and ask if I remember 9/11 much like I asked my mother about the JFK assassination.

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