Okay first of let me apologize for my absents life has been a little crazy, I haven’t had the motivation to write. Also let me apologize for the lack of illustration for this post, 90% of the markers I use on a regular basis are pretty much dead, and I don’t know what I want to replace them with. So now to the meat of this post.
How often as mothers, whether we are SAHM or Working moms do we question our choices. I’m not talking about the question of whether to work or stay home, I’m talking about the question of whether or not we should really be mothers. How often on bad days do we feel that becoming a mom was the worst choice we could have made in our life.
Than again in a world were literally everything we do as mothers is questioned, why wouldn’t we question if we really should have become moms. We live in a world we are always getting told we are bad moms, there is literally nothing we do a mothers that isn’t questioned.
It starts from the time we find out we are pregnant, the first question that crosses lots of women’s mind is “Do I really want this, am I sure I want to be a mother?” I know there are women out there who could never imagine asking themselves this question, because of how desperately they want a child, and how much time they have point into getting said child. I also know there are plenty of women who have the first reaction, once they’ve gotten positive test. This is just the first of many questions, they never stop.
“When should I tell people?”
“Do I want a Midwife or Ob/gyn?”
“Should I find out the gender?”
“What I do if something goes wrong?”
“Natural or Epidural?”
“What if it’s multiples?”
This are just the first couple questions that pop into my mind if once I find out I’m pregnant. Not only do this question pop in to most women’s minds random strangers will ask you variations of these questions, and they give their opinion. The thing is it seems like it’s only motherhood, that everyone in their brother feels the need to weigh in on. You wouldn’t go up to so random person on the street and ask them if they had cancer and then tell them what they should do. Yet we do it to women all they time when it comes to pregnancy, and motherhood.
We live in a society where everyone has to give their two cents on everything. Where getting a simple answer about anything is impossible, because everyone thinks that their opinion is the right one. Even though everyone’s opinion is just that an opinion, yet they impact every decision we make as mothers, and makes us question everything,
I believe that motherhood is 10x harder now than it was 30 years ago, because every choice we make is criticized, and it’s criticized publicly. On facebook, instagram, twitter, it doesn’t matter where you share you will always find a critic.
In a world where there is no right answers, there is no one way to be a mom, every mom is different and every baby is different. You need to find what works for you as a mom, and don’t try and make every mom like you.
And for the love of humanity stop offering unsolicited advice to complete strangers on the street, especially if you raised children in a different era, because things change, the times change.
Also let me put this little tip out there don’t look at a mother with 2 or more small children and say, “You’ve got your hands full.” It’s annoying, and all we really want to say to you is “thank you captain obvious”, but we don’t we smile, nod, and say yes they are.