Today was one of those days that motherhood beat me down, it was one of those days where I yelled a lot, one of those days where I just wanted to be able to hide from my children and let them fend for themselves. Motherhood drained me to, the act of caring for my children felt like too much. Maybe it was this week in general, it’s hard to say.
Miss Determination has had a cold, which means she suddenly can’t sleep in her own bed. I’m not really sure why but ever since she was a baby she will only sleep in mommy and Daddy’s bed when she is sick. Which I’m trying to avoid because we just finally got her to reliably sleep in her own bed. So I’ve been running low on sleep because even though we have a king size bed some how Bald Man takes up three quarters of it himself, so then Miss Determination gets in my quarter and I have even less space. Aside from losing sleep on my end the cold didn’t seem to be bothering Miss Determination. Then Mr. Fearless got sick.
Now we all know that a man cold is ten times worst then a woman cold. I’m pretty sure the only thing worst then a man cold is a toddler boy cold. Especially with Mr. Fearless, it alternates between, dying and being perfectly fine. Today happened to be more of a dying day then a fine day, and it started when he decided he was done sleeping at 3:30 this morning. Which means I got 4 hours of sleep, not really enough to make me a civil person, usually I need 6 hours for that. Then school was cancelled for bad weather.
I watch a group of kids that are at my house for usually about 2 hours a day, I love my bus kids, they bring in extra money but don’t impact my day. Except when they don’t have school, so I was short on sleep and then had to care for four kids not including my two. Needless to say it was a rough morning, thankfully they were all gone by lunch.
Things didn’t get better because Miss Determination didn’t nap and she thought she need a snack every 20 minute. I didn’t get a break today which I know it part of the reason motherhood drained me today. Don’t get me wrong I love my kids and I love that I’m privileged enough to get to say home with them, but some days I find it to be to much.
Hopefully bed time will go smoothly (not likely it will probably be a 2 hour battle) And I can get to bed early and find my happy place in motherhood again tomorrow.