Lay with me mama…

Miss Determination hates to fall asleep on her own. We have tried it all, none of it works. Honestly it seems to be more trouble then it’s worth.

When we let her cry it out, she doesn’t get a good night’s sleep and neither do I. She wakes up countless times during the night, and one of us end in the other’s bed. Which worked fine when she was younger, but now at 4 years old and 3 and a half feet tall (I’m 5ft 6in), it’s hard to snuggle.

Something about falling asleep on her own makes her very anxious. I don’t know what it is, and she either doesn’t have to words to explain it or she just can’t explain it. Anxiety is a tricky thing and at 4 it’s far too complex and emotion for her to understand. In all honesty I’m 29 and sometimes my anxiety is too much for me to understand.

So since this feeling is too big for her right now, I’m going to help her with it. If it means I end up lying with her for an hour until she falls a sleep so be it. I would much rather have to take the hour or so at 8 o’clock, then at 1am, 2am, and 3am. That’s right when she crys it out I’m up at least 3 times in the middle of the night, no thank you.

Maybe I should have tried harder when she was younger, but Bald Man and I didn’t have the will power to do it. Plus I was always worried she would get so worked up she would make herself sick, and I hate puke, I have puke anxieties. Seeing that she is my daughter the odds are really good, getting myself worked up enough to puke has happened, but that’s a post for another day.

Lately I’ve been trying to enjoy the time I spend snuggling with her and Mr. Fearless to get them to sleep. I try to remind myself that it won’t last forever, someday soon she won’t need me to lay with her. After all Miss Determination doesn’t want snuggles anymore, she just wants you to lay next to her (parallel lines, no Intersecting). Mr. Fearless is all about the snuggles, especially with the boobs (he is my little boob monster, even though he doesn’t nurse any more.).

Is there other things I would rather be doing then laying in a dark room for a chunk of time, of course. Even if that’s the case, there is no point I’m getting annoyed it just gets them all worked up. I’m not sure how many more bed time snuggles, and bedtime chat sessions I have left. Children grow too fast so I’m going to spend time laying in bed with them until they fall asleep.

I mean it gave me time to type this post, and think about an easier way to color in pictures on the computer.

Stay tuned for all of my new illustrations and posts. I’m going to try and get back into the habit of regular posts. My Happy Planner is slowly becoming my best friend.

lay with me


2 Thoughts

  1. Aww… soak it all in mama! They grow so fast! 🌷 btw, we have the same interests! which is what drew me into your blog. I’m also currently on an “art journey” learning how to draw, paint, etc., I also treasure a Happy Planner (your Jujube-inspired is so pretty! 😍), and I’m also an almost-always exhausted SAHM lol. Nice to meet you!


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